too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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