Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
