omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
is that a dick in a sweater?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
