quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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