so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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