It was confusing and full of hummus
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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