Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Terrible idea I love it
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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