If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
