Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
