Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Randomize
