I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
