I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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