I can tuck mytits in my pants
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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