you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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