I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
