I need help removing her.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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