But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
