It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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