id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
