if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize