hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize