I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
