Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
