On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
