using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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