everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
