boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
