i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize