If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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