Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
