is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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