so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
