their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
