Why are handjobs necessary in class?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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