I could make wine with my vomit
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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