I'm laying in your front yard are you home
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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