Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
