what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
