I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
