Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
