At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
