Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
