I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
