I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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