My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
