I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
