Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
