Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
