R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
