Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
