spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
