youre lurking in front of me
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
