question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So many bounce houses so little time
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
