i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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